One of the worst feelings...

I feel so lost right now. I hate losing a best friend no matter the circumstance. I realize that there are certain people who shouldn't be in our lives but why does it have to be so hard to make the cut. I suppose that is a reason that we choose friends carefully but I miss him terribly. I find myself thinking of movie quotes "I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." From Ten Things I hate About You and "You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you." From When Harry Met Sally.

I hate that he did this. I hate that I feel so lost and alone without him. I hate that I feel I cannot ever trust him again. But most of all, I hate that I can't hate him.