Sunday, September 19, 2010

One of the worst feelings...

I feel so lost right now. I hate losing a best friend no matter the circumstance. I realize that there are certain people who shouldn't be in our lives but why does it have to be so hard to make the cut. I suppose that is a reason that we choose friends carefully but I miss him terribly. I find myself thinking of movie quotes "I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." From Ten Things I hate About You and "You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you." From When Harry Met Sally.

I hate that he did this. I hate that I feel so lost and alone without him. I hate that I feel I cannot ever trust him again. But most of all, I hate that I can't hate him.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Decisions

You know those decisions you are forced to make in life when you know what the right thing to do is but you want to badly just to make the mistake. People say life is not always black and white. But I feel in my life, it normally is. Maybe I am just a boring person; but I normally know what is right and what is wrong. So why can I not just make the right decision? Why can I not just be a boring person who makes all the smart choices. Well I guess if I was that type of person I would be graduating from college in May. But that is beside the point. This decision I must make (by friday) never leaves my mind. For awhile I had decided to just make the mistake and deal with the consequences later. But after putting more thought into the situation. I do not know how long I can live with that mistake. Yes, it will be a lot of fun while it lasts. But how long will it last? The worst part of this situation? Is that I can not talk with any of my friends about this because I know what they will say. They will not approve at all and for good reason. Some of them have made mistakes similar to this before. But I guess I just learn a little slower than most people. So I guess the only thing left for me to decide is how much I respect myself and what I want out of life.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Pain Pills, Friends, and Soggy Cereal

Day two of wisdom teeth extraction and I have never been so bored. As much as I have enjoyed watching Friends and relaxing; I need more social interaction. I was not made to live alone. Plus I'm thinking I better lose more weight with this whole not being able to eat anything again. After getting braces a couple weeks ago; I'm just not ready to go without eating for awhile again. I can't even go running because I don't have enough energy because I'm not able to eat.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to grow up..

Well this has been a very busy and crazy week. First of all it is my last week of my internship and the day i've been planning for all summer is quickly approaching! It's so stressful and so nerve wrecking. If things go bad this weekend its all on me.
In another area of my life.. I am not entirely sure where I'm moving into in just 3 weeks.. The apartment my friends and I have been planning to move into apparently the staff is retarded and signed us up for a 2 bedroom apartment.. there are three of us. Luckily Kayla's fiance is amazing and it going to go talk to them tomorrow since he is in Edmond.
I am just praying that God will quickly show us what he has planned. Because it's so hard not to freak out right now.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Why Not?!


So a lot of my friends are becoming avid bloggers.. So I decided to start this one up again. Who knows what i'll write about. I suppose just random happenings of life.

Well today I just worked job #1 which I only have about 2 weeks left! How crazy is that?! This summer has flown by! But I'm okay with that. I'm ready to go home to Edmond.

Well on another note.. This is my new puppy. His name is Santiago and he's 4 months old. Oh and did I mention he's a mess? I mean not as bad as Marley but pretty close.

Maybe I'll write a this blog about him. Him and all the stress and craziness he brings to my life.

Santiago had a big day today. We went to Kim's house and played pretty hard there for several hours while getting things ready for an upcoming photo shoot. The best part... He didn't have an accident while we were there! I'm SO tired of cleaning up his accidents. :( After spending time at Kim's we went to the park with Jessica and played for a little while there. I've noticed loud noises scare the poor little guy. Just the sound of the swings had him freaking out.

Well, It's bed time. Santiago is passed out in his room and I am about to do the same.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

4 Days until I leave the country

Okay I'm officially stressing out. I have SO much to do in So little time! pretty much I have to get EVERYTHING done tomorrow... no pressure. Help? 

It seems like everything is this weekend. I thought Memorial day weekend was supposed to be relaxed, I guess not. Friday I will be preparing for my Bon Voyage literally all day. Well, until 6pm because that's when it starts. Then right after (about midnight) I have to go to Brad's birthday party. Saturday I'm shopping with my mom, then going to a wedding, then driving to OKC for a work party. Sunday is a finally farewell day and last minute everything. I can't believe I'm leaving Monday. This is SO surreal. Not only am I going to Honduras Monday, but I'm going to be there ALL summer. I'm getting kind of scared but I'm just telling myself that the feeling is Satan trying to stop me from going. 

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ready for Spring Break!!!!

Oh my goodness I don't think i've ever been so ready for spring break. Life has been crazy this semester and I'm ready for a break. Keeping up with classes, homework, Pi Zeta Phi, and working has taken over my life! I'm so glad spring sing is finally over. Maybe after spring break i'll have a life again. I'm still working on being accepted into the Education program at Oklahoma Christian and it will be a long process. Speaking of which, I need to write a paper about the perils of "No child left behind". 

Adios!

hey fyi I'm going to Honduras this summer to work with Amber Foster! I'm beyond excited.